How do you know if someone is suffering from chronic anxiety?

Quite simply we don’t!

I experienced a situation this afternoon where I was made acutely aware of this.   I wanted to share the story in the hope that it may help others to think twice before making their own judgement calls.

I had planned a trip to the Cinema to watch Mama Mia 2 with my daughters (which was superb, in my opinion). I planned ahead and had carefully chosen three seats on the end of a row on the isle. I had done this so that I could show my daughter exactly where we were sitting and reassure her that she would not be blocked in. Why was this so important? Well, in the past few months (years) she has been battling with ME and one of the side affects is a chronic anxiety. It doesn’t stop her from doing many things but she needs to know all the details of any “unusual” events so that she can feel safe and reassured.

So when we got to the cinema and found that someone was in our seats we had a problem. She was ready to run and I could see her anxieties rocketing and I could see our trip ending there. What made it more difficult was that one of the two ladies in our seats was disabled requiring a stick to stand. So imagine the scene; 3 young (myself and my daughters) asking an elderly lady to vacate our seats when there were three empty seats in the row behind but boxed in the other end by the wall. What then transpired was that the couple were in fact sitting in our seats as someone else was sitting in theirs!! It became transparent that the initial perpetrators had no intention of moving to their designated seats, even when asked, mouthing that they couldn’t see the problem.

I quietly apologised and explained my predicament to the ladies who were superb and completely understood and very kindly agreed to move into the row behind. However, this left my daughter feeling guilty and feeling extremely self conscious. She managed to sit but spent the first half of the film with her eyes closed practicing her breathing to calm herself down. I was so proud of her for staying but disappointed that her experience was marred by the thoughtless behaviour of others.

Please, when you book specified seats for events do stick to the numbers that you booked. You do not know what others are facing and the ramifications for those if you “choose’ to sit in someone else’s seat. It may appear to be “no big deal” but you could be causing more upset to others than you realise.

Anxiety doesn’t need to stop you from enjoying new experiences but it does require advance planning and a little understanding from others.