I think it’s quite telling that this post has been sat with the above title in my “drafts” for some weeks now! During that time I have continued to work as a therapist, volunteer, supervisor and teacher, been mum to my two daughters, screamed repeatedly at our thug (very lovely and adored) of a puppy, felt overwhelmed, un motivated and more. All fairly normal under the current conditions. Actually, that should read, all fairly normal! I’m coping.

So how have you been coping?

I think this is a relevant question. If you are reading this then you have made it this far through lockdown 3 and what ever trials that has brought to  your life, so you must be doing things right.

In my work as a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist we start each session with the following question (or questions):

What’s been good? OR What are your best hopes from today?

There’s a reason for this; if we choose to direct our focus towards the positive aspects in our life then we engage our pre frontal cortex, our control centre. You may think that at the moment to ask this question would be viewed as insensitive. It’s all bad isn’t it? COVID, lockdown, isolation, loneliness .. ( i could go on but I don’t want to for obvious reasons) Well, I beg to differ; now it’s even more important than ever to ask this question; to challenge the negative picture that we face. Because we can and should challenge it.  One of my colleagues made a very good point this morning; we challenge the negative picture, not to necessarily make us positive and happy, but so that we can engage our rational and balanced perspective of our reality. To regain our control.

So I ask again; What’s been good?

It’s a question that takes practice to answer well as many of my clients would agree, but once you get the hang of it things start to change for the better.

So today;

My breakfast was good, I enjoyed my cup of tea, I attended a great meeting with fellow supervisors, my clients inspired me oh and I smelled my first Daphne of the year.

Take time each day to ask yourself this question. It’s what helps me to remain ‘in control” (most of the time – I’ll let you into a secret, I do loose it! My bucket does fill and I do rant from time to time, but I can recognise this and my children do too and together we have a coping system that helps us all to cope when the bucket fills) I consciously make myself notice those small things that help me to remain present and in control.

If you are speaking negatively to others and yourself and find it hard to  break that pattern then please do give me a call and together we can get the real ‘YOU” back.